Manscaping For Business

Ok, it has to be said: Guys, you have to manscape. Using the excuse that you’re a dude and you do not have to pay attention to your appearance is just way too 1950’s. We are living in an age of total transparency, and ignoring your appearance just does not fly. Why am I writing about this on a business relationship blog? Dressing for success does not only apply to the clothes and shoes you wear and the style of appropriate business attire for your industry; it also applies to the small details of manscaping. I am not referring to hair you can hide with clothing; unless your business requires you to take off your shirt, then by all means wax your back and trim your chest hair. But that’s not the type of manscaping I want to discuss.

I’m referring to the manscaping that is necessary whether you are wearing a suit and tie or shorts and a T-shirt. No matter what you do or what industry you are in, there is no excuse for ignoring the big three of unsightly facial hair: 1) nose, 2) ears, and 3) brows. Whether you are a lawyer or a surfer, have a beard or are cleanly shaven, you have to tend to these three areas. When you avoid them, you make a declaration to the world that you do not care about the small details in life.

1) Nose: There are two types of nose hair, and you have to address both: the type that grows in and the kind that grows on. Let’s start with the ones that grow in your nose. There are advertised devices that are made specifically to rid your nose of the vines growing out of them, so it’s no big mystery and you cannot claim you had no idea that guys trim the hair in their noses. Buy one of these devices and get rid of the hairs hanging out of your nose. It’s disgusting; when you are in meetings, you are distracting people because they are thinking, “OMG, that nose hair is gross, what is he thinking?”  Because of that, they are not listening to your brilliance on the topic of discussion.

The second kind of nose hair is the type that grows on your nose. Guess what? They make a device to take care of this hair as well – it’s called tweezers. Go borrow your wife’s, girlfriend’s, or mother’s or just go out and buy one and pluck those little hairs that grow on top of your nose. When I’m talking to a dude with long hairs growing on the top of his nose, all I can think about is, “Is this guy for real? He wants to work for me, and yet he isn’t detailed enough or doesn’t care enough to realize there is a big hair growing on the top of his nose. What is he thinking?” I kind of want to pluck it out in the middle of the conversation and show him the error of his ways, but I muster up all the restraint possible not to do so. There is no chance he is getting hired by me; that hair tells me too many negatives about him. It’s as plain as the nose on his face and he just doesn’t see it. It’s bad enough when eccentric billionaires don’t pay attention to this wild hair growth, but if you are job hunting or not a billionaire, then pluck those babies out!

2) Ears: We are not in the jungle; get out your machete and remove the bush from your ears. I realize your ears are on the side of your head, but you still need to look in them and tend to the overgrowth. There are multiple ways of getting rid of these hairs depending on the thickness. Plucking may be enough, but if it’s full-on shrubbery, then go get your ears waxed. That ear hair is fodder for ridicule and no one will take you seriously if you have a tree growing out of the side of your head. How many dudes with jungles in their ears have been the butt of jokes after meetings? How can anything get done if your co-workers are focused on your ears rather than the work at hand? Stop the madness. Look in your ears right now and fix the problem. The ear hair must disappear.

3) Brows: There are a couple of things going on with your brows gents: 1) too bushy and 2) the good old uni-brow. Your eyebrows are hair, and like all hair, they grow. You need to trim your eyebrows and keep them neat; it’s a part of maintaining and presenting yourself for business. If you drive by a house where the front yard is perfectly groomed, it’s pleasing and more inviting than one that is overgrown and full of weeds. Trim the weeds over your eyes and be pleasing to the eyes of others.

Now we come to the uni-brow. Uni-brows are a true sign of fooling yourself, because there is no way that even you can think it looks good. If I bump into a person with a uni-brow, I assume that they have bad judgment and do not trust their decision-making ability. Wax it, pluck it, shave it, but just get rid of it. It is not helping your efforts on any level. People will not trust your judgment if you sport one. Nuke that uni-brow.

If you believe you are being judged on everything you say in business, you are absolutely correct. But, you are not just being judged by how you prepare verbally; you are being viewed on all actions and prep work you put forth to make an impression. Preparation is needed on all fronts, including personal grooming. It shows that you care and are detail oriented. I realize some people will say, “I don’t care what they look like as long as they perform at a high level.” I tend to agree with that. Performance is the key, but what about those who do take everything into consideration? Why not error on the side of detailed manscaping? Let’s face it, no one is ever going to be distracted by your bald ear lobes. You want to be successful? I recommend you pay attention to all the details and not just the ones that matter most. Although this post is written “tongue in cheek”, it’s time to address your unsightly nose, ear and brow hair and manscape for success.