{"id":1469,"date":"2013-10-28T08:31:16","date_gmt":"2013-10-28T14:31:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/?p=1469"},"modified":"2020-04-02T09:34:42","modified_gmt":"2020-04-02T15:34:42","slug":"how-to-say-no-graciously-and-effectively","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/?p=1469","title":{"rendered":"How to Say \u201cNo\u201d (Graciously and Effectively)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>This week we have a special guest post from Bob Burg, the co-author of one of my favorite books, The Go-Giver. <\/em>Bob’s new book Adversaries into Allies<\/em> hits the book shelves this week. <\/strong>Bob is an incredible Relationship Architect and he understands that saying “No” is not only appropriate, it is also good for a relationship, when done properly. Bob, shows the way in this guest post.<\/strong><\/p>\n

How to Say \u201cNo\u201d (Graciously and Effectively)<\/strong>
\nBy Bob Burg<\/p>\n

Have you ever been asked to do something that you simply didn\u2019t want to do? Yet, saying no was difficult. Perhaps you didn\u2019t want to let them down or even appear selfish<\/em>.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, you really<\/em> didn\u2019t want to say yes.<\/p>\n

Saying no can be difficult, can\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

You may have received advice saying that it\u2019s okay to just tell people no! Or, even that \u201c\u2019No\u2019 is a complete sentence!\u201d<\/p>\n

Well, despite the momentary feeling of empowerment upon hearing that, saying no, especially like that, is easier said than done.<\/p>\n

After all, are you willing to say no in such a way that it offends the person, closes the door on other opportunities or \u2014 most importantly<\/em> \u2014 simply runs contrary to your core value of treating people kindly?<\/p>\n

Probably not. Especially if you\u2019re the type who has a hard time turning people down anyway.<\/p>\n

Good news:<\/p>\n

You can<\/em> say no. And, you can do it with tact, kindness, and in a way that makes the other person feel good about themselves.<\/p>\n

How?<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say a friend or colleague asks you to serve on a committee. For whatever reason, you\u2019d rather not. Simply say:<\/p>\n

Thank you for your kind offer. While it\u2019s not something I\u2019d like to do, please know how honored {or grateful} I am to be asked.<\/em><\/p>\n

The key is to say it with kindness and gratitude and with absolutely no<\/em> defensiveness.<\/p>\n

Key point. This is vital: Make no excuses!<\/em><\/p>\n

Resist the very natural urge to say, \u201cI don\u2019t have time\u201d or something similar. If you do, they\u2019ll attempt to answer your objection<\/em>. <\/em>And, when they do you\u2019ll either have to accept (so that you don\u2019t appear to be a liar) or admit that what you said wasn\u2019t really true. Either way, bad feelings will ensue.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get sucked into that game. The above response along with a genuine smile of gratitude will accomplish your goal. That, and no excuses!<\/p>\n

But, what if they persist?<\/p>\n

For example, he or she says, \u201coh, c\u2019mon; why not?\u201d Or, \u201cplease, we really need you.\u201d<\/p>\n

All you have to do is reply with a sincere smile and say, \u201cI\u2019d just rather not, but thank you so much for considering me.\u201d<\/em>
\n<\/em>
\nThe person will clearly understand that you\u2019re not going to accept the position, but cannot possibly be offended because of your gracious, humble and appreciative attitude.<\/p>\n

Once you begin training<\/em> the people in your life (even those who are used to your giving in) that you are able to say no and not be bullied, coerced or guilted<\/em> into doing something, you will find that, from now on, all it will take is one \u201cno\u201d per request to not be asked again.<\/p>\n

Of course there are plenty of times that \u201cyes\u201d is the appropriate response. But, saying no when you should say no allows you to say yes more often when you feel you should say yes.<\/p>\n

And, it allows you to do what you do say yes to much more effectively.<\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/p>\n

Excerpted from Bob Burg\u2019s new book, Adversaries into Allies<\/em>. Best known as coauthor of The Go-Giver<\/em>, Burg\u2019s newest book will help you to become a top influencer and persuader, learning how to consistently obtain the results you want, while helping everyone come away a winner. You can get Chapter One by visitingwww.AdversariesintoAllies.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This week we have a special guest post from Bob Burg, the co-author of one of my favorite books, The Go-Giver. Bob’s new book Adversaries into Allies hits the book shelves this week. Bob is an incredible Relationship Architect and he understands that saying “No” is not only appropriate, it is also good for a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[190],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship-architecture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1469"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1469\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1890,"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1469\/revisions\/1890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/louimbriano.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}